Your Neck Hurts Because You Forgot You're Human: A Spicy Guide to Ergonomics

Let’s get real. Computers haven’t been around that long.

I mean, I didn’t even own one in college.

I had a clunky Smith Corona word processor and thought I was high tech.

Now we’re all hunched over glowing rectangles like tech-zombies,

wondering why our necks feel like they’ve been run over

by a cart pulled by 19th-century oxen.

Spoiler alert:

Our ancestors didn’t sit for 8+ hours a day staring at blue light.

They were busy, you know—moving.

Carrying firewood, chasing chickens, tilling soil, living in their bodies.

If you told them you were sitting in one spot for hours barely blinking,

barely breathing, they’d say,

“Well no wonder your back hurts, sweetheart.

That’s not what bodies are for.”

Welcome to the “Tech Neck” Apocalypse

If you’ve ever Googled “neck pain when sitting at desk,”

congratulations, you’re not alone—and also, what took you so long?

Sitting like a melted candle over your laptop

all day is a one-way ticket to Spasmville.

According to actual science (yes, I bring receipts),

neck flexion + long hours = ow.

One study in Occupational and Environmental Medicine

confirmed what your grandma could’ve told you:

hunching over for hours ain’t good for you.

Another review in BMC Public Health found that sitting

more than 6 hours a day dramatically increases neck pain risk.

And guess what?

Most of us are clocking in way beyond that.

How to Fix Computer Neck

(and Stop Your Body from Revolting)

Look, your body isn’t broken.

It’s just mad at you.

So let’s un-mad it:

Lift that screen:

Your monitor should be at eye level.

If you’re staring down, your neck’s going to scream eventually.

Stack some books.

Get a stand. Be resourceful.

External keyboard & mouse:

Your wrists want to be neutral—

not twisted like you’re auditioning for

a carpal tunnel commercial.

Chair with support:

Think of your spine like a Jenga tower.

It needs structure,

not a fluffy marshmallow couch that caves with your dreams.

MOVE, babe:

Set a timer. Stand.

Stretch. Walk around.

Take your spine on a date every hour,

I personally do every 25 minutes.

These aren’t optional. They’re your survival guide.

But My Neck Still Hurts!

Yeah, because ergonomics are just part of the puzzle.

If your head's been in a fog of tension for years,

it’s time to call in the pros.

I’m talking craniosacral bodywork—

the kind of gentle,

deep reset your nervous system didn’t know it needed.

Here’s what one of my clients said:

"I went to Elizabeth for a locked-up neck and upper back and she resolved it in one session. She also has extensive experience – 25 years – in craniosacral bodywork which I have also had the benefit of receiving. Amazing!"

—K.P., Santa Rosa, CA

You don’t need to suffer.

You need a reset.

Your body has been whispering;

now it’s yelling.

Listen before it starts throwing furniture.

Where Can I Get a Neck Massage?

You don’t have to go far.

If you’re local, come see me.

If you’re not, find someone skilled in manual therapy,

especially craniosacral or myofascial therapy.

And remember: no app, AI,

or ergonomic chair will ever replace actual touch

and attention from a human being.

Note for the Sit-All-Day Set:

• Your body isn’t designed for static sitting—don’t act surprised that it’s revolting.

• Ergonomic setup = non-negotiable.

• Movement every hour = sanity.

• Craniosacral bodywork = game changer.

  
  

Now go forth.

Adjust your setup. Wiggle.

Stretch. Book that massage.

Reclaim your humanhood.

Your neck deserves better than the hunch of doom.

Did this help you? Feel free to share it or link to it—spreading healing is how we rise together.

Chairman of the Bored

(For Those Who Want Receipts on Why Your Neck Hates Your Laptop)

1. Ariëns, G.A.M., Van Mechelen, W., Bongers, P.M., Bouter, L.M., & van der Wal, G. (2001). Are neck flexion, neck rotation, and sitting at work risk factors for neck pain? Occupational and Environmental Medicine, 58(3), 200–207.

   
   

2. Chen, X., Wu, Y., Huang, L., & Zhao, Y. (2025). Sedentary behavior and risk of neck pain: A systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Public Health.

   
   

3. Shariat, A., Cleland, J.A., Danaee, M., Sangelaji, B., & Tamrin, S.B.M. (2016). Workplace factors associated with neck pain experienced by computer users: A systematic review. Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics, 39(5), 372–380.